Ameribloodycarno

Coffee used to come in two flavours, black or white with or without sugar.

I can cope with Cappuccino which is a specific blend of espresso coffee and steamed milk, often served with powdered cinnamon and topped with whipped cream. I can just about cope with "Latte" which is a shortened term from the Italian "Caffe Latte" meaning Coffee with Milk. At least they actually describe a specific drink.

I had absolutely no idea what a "Large Skinny Latte" was. I initially thought it was an anorexic cow until someone behind the counter corrected me. Just as I thought I was getting the hang of it, someone directly in front of me ordered a "Large extra dry Cappuccino". I had to Google that one..... apparently its a Cappuccino with more froth than liquid. Why the bloody hell would you pay for a drink that's been half boiled out of existence!!!!

This inane corporate need to brand these simple drinks can drive you crazy. It would not be so bad if the people selling the stuff and are using these branded terms had a sense of proportion about their use. Surely there is no need to act like they have had their brains removed when customers don't use the term or don't actually know what it means.

Starbucks probably started it, but my exposure to this insane "branding" of black or white coffee comes from Costa coffee. (or as I like to call it, Costa packet).

I just wanted a simple white coffee. When I asked for one it was almost as though I had spoken words that come from the language of a small undefined country in eastern Asia. As far as I know, "white coffee" is still a recognised phrase in the English language. Its well understood in my kitchen anyhow.

Me - "May I have a small white coffee please?"

Coffee serving person - "White coffee sir? do you mean an Americano?"

Me - "No, because I have no idea what Americano means. I would like a small white coffee , thats coffee with milk in it"

Coffee serving person - "Arr yes sir is that a Cappuccino or a Latte?"

Me - "No its coffee with milk in it"

Coffee serving person - "So you mean an Americano"

Me - "What is an Americano"

Coffee serving person - "Its a black coffee".

Me - "But I want it white".

Coffee serving person - "Yes sir, that's what I will give you".

He then proceeded to give me a black coffee which I had to make white with the addition of milk from a jug.

After a battle of wills against this ridiculous branding of a simple beverage, I eventually gave in and on my next visit decided to keep it very simple. (how could I fail this time....)

Me - "Could I have a small black coffee"

Coffee serving person - "Black coffee....sorry sir do you mean an Americano".

Iconic Photos Of Our Youth

I heard someone once say that time travel was not possible. If it was,why had we not been visited by people from the future. The reply I heard from a theorist of this genre was that for time travel to occur, a time machine had to be invented and turned on. Because we are not inundated with time tourists, he speculated, no such time machine has been invented yet.

I disagree. With today's back catalogue of images and sound we are awash with windows on the past. We can look back into our history like never before. Sure we cannot walk around in its three dimensional world but we can, when the fancy takes us, dip into it and view the kind of detail our ancestors could not imagine.

There are many things that we all remember from our teenage years. Favourite songs, favourite places, tastes and smells and of course images. There is probably one (or more) iconic images that we all remember from our youth. For me, mine will always be Buzz Aldrin standing on the moon.

Whats yours?

Life on Mars explained

I noticed on some news sites recently that some strange image had been photographed by one of the rovers on Mars.
The following was photographed by Spirit Rover some time ago and on zooming it it becomes a remarkable image.....

On closer inspection there is something in the right hand corner.

Even more closer reveals someone walking....

Is it my imagination or is it......

So thats where he went......no wonder we cannot find him.

Lambing not so live

Ok, so your a BBC programme executive thinking of new programmes to inflict on the great unwashed.

You've done Springwatch, Autumnwatch, Sealwatch, Humblewatch, Odditywatch, Bigcat diary and Driving around in the Kenya national game reserves as a Cheetah toilet....watch.

What can we do now....I know Lambing live.... where we get Bumble Humble (no offence but as sharp as a sack of wet mice...) to present from a farm in Wales all week on the annual lambing season.

How can it fail? A farmer who owns upwards of 800 head of sheep all of which are about to drop their 2010 offspring must be able to provide at least two lambs per night over 5 days, the odds are good.....Except all in the shed were lying down snoozing or eating for a whole hour last night.

Lets analyse this..... and Mr. Sheep Farmer did warn them about it, most sheep give birth in the wee small hours of the night. His rationale for this, and it makes perfect sense to me, was that lambs born at that time of the night then have all the next day to get on their feet, get a belly full of milk and strengthen up to face the long nights of their first days of life to come. Yep nature got that right. Pity the BBC did not think of that when they programmed this extravaganza to its 8 o clock in the evening slot. There will be plenty of recorded highlights from the night before........

Lambing not so live anyone?

Dumb TV presenters

TV AM this morning

Two presenters, Dimwit and Dumb blonde talking about the snow and ice and lack of grit on the roads.

Dimwit ; "Did you know we mine salt in this country?"

Dumb blonde; "Really"

Dimwit ; "Yes apparently it comes from a salt mine in Winsford in Cheshire"

Dumb blonde; "Salt comes out of the ground?"

I rest my case...

New boots for old

So the Minister for Defence announced today that 22 new Chinook helicopters would be made available for the war in Afghanistan. They will be ordered over the next 10 years.

Great. - So the soldiers and the marines who are sitting on the ground getting shot at daily and need these things to ferry them and their kit around will get them in 10 years.

They need them now for Christ sake.

I cannot understand why it takes so long to order and purchase a helicopter. I mean they are available to buy, MOD knows what spec it needs in the helicopter. Well they must do, they have enough of them in service already. Its just a repeat order.

Stop pussyfooting around MOD and get the guys what they need........and do it NOW.

Either that or bring them home.

RED Fridays

RED FRIDAYS
Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday.
The reason?
British men and women who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'.
We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home in record breaking numbers.
We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing.
We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.
Many British people, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Britain supports our troops.
Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every Briton who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make Great Britain on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football team
If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long before Britain is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...'We need your support and your prayers'...
Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.