Coffee used to come in two flavours, black or white with or without sugar.
I can cope with Cappuccino which is a specific blend of espresso coffee and steamed milk, often served with powdered cinnamon and topped with whipped cream. I can just about cope with "Latte" which is a shortened term from the Italian "Caffe Latte" meaning Coffee with Milk. At least they actually describe a specific drink.
I had absolutely no idea what a "Large Skinny Latte" was. I initially thought it was an anorexic cow until someone behind the counter corrected me. Just as I thought I was getting the hang of it, someone directly in front of me ordered a "Large extra dry Cappuccino". I had to Google that one..... apparently its a Cappuccino with more froth than liquid. Why the bloody hell would you pay for a drink that's been half boiled out of existence!!!!
This inane corporate need to brand these simple drinks can drive you crazy. It would not be so bad if the people selling the stuff and are using these branded terms had a sense of proportion about their use. Surely there is no need to act like they have had their brains removed when customers don't use the term or don't actually know what it means.
Starbucks probably started it, but my exposure to this insane "branding" of black or white coffee comes from Costa coffee. (or as I like to call it, Costa packet).
I just wanted a simple white coffee. When I asked for one it was almost as though I had spoken words that come from the language of a small undefined country in eastern Asia. As far as I know, "white coffee" is still a recognised phrase in the English language. Its well understood in my kitchen anyhow.
Me - "May I have a small white coffee please?"
Coffee serving person - "White coffee sir? do you mean an Americano?"
Me - "No, because I have no idea what Americano means. I would like a small white coffee , thats coffee with milk in it"
Coffee serving person - "Arr yes sir is that a Cappuccino or a Latte?"
Me - "No its coffee with milk in it"
Coffee serving person - "So you mean an Americano"
Me - "What is an Americano"
Coffee serving person - "Its a black coffee".
Me - "But I want it white".
Coffee serving person - "Yes sir, that's what I will give you".
He then proceeded to give me a black coffee which I had to make white with the addition of milk from a jug.
After a battle of wills against this ridiculous branding of a simple beverage, I eventually gave in and on my next visit decided to keep it very simple. (how could I fail this time....)
Me - "Could I have a small black coffee"
Coffee serving person - "Black coffee....sorry sir do you mean an Americano".
