Goose-slander

I work by the side of a beautiful mere in the Cheshire countryside. The building I work in butts right up to the mere and the walk - way from the restaurant along the mere to the woods is a very nice way to stroll off the old lunch.

During most of the year this is a relaxing treat. During April and May however we run the gauntlet of the onslaught of mad Goose fever. Canadian Geese to be exact.
They nest along the path and anywhere else, should the fancy take them. It usually does.







This would be charming enough you would think. Sure, nesting Geese are likely to be a bit "hissy". I mean that's understandable. They take offence to anything that comes near them. Other geese, rabbits, humans,herons, crisp packets, falling leaves. Whilst dressed in my motor bike leathers and heading for home, I was spotted by a Canada who watched intently as I got on the bike to ride off. At the point where I drove past, he flew at me at full speed. Clearly black leathers + 650cc = BIG GOOSE THAT MUST BE ATTACKED. Well in the eyes of goose with nothing to do it does.


I think that's what it is. The males just get bored. One could argue they are defending their nests but this motorcycle chaser was no where near his patch. The males have done their bit so to speak in the breeding cycle and now have to fill their days until its time to escort juniors to the water. (Typical male I hear the ladies cry.)


The other thing they do to pass the time if poo. And they do a lot of that. The path by the mere is littered with the stuff. You could argue its a poo with a view. (thanks Matt)...
The odd thing is, the poo is stacked up in neat piles every so often. So there are only two conclusions you can draw from this. The same goose returns to the same spot each time and puts more on top of what its just dropped or they really are full of sh&*t.
Either way, these mountains get big enough to become round abouts in their own right.

I am told that because these geese, albeit Canadian in name have probably never flown that far. I am told they are resident in the Cheshire area and spend their time flitting from one mere to another. To that end their numbers have to be controlled otherwise we would have hundreds of the hissy buggers every spring. They are not culled. Their numbers appear to be controlled by goosey birth control.

Where nests are accessible, the eggs are sprayed with something that prohibits the grown of the embryo. Because geese eggs are porous, the egg becomes sterile. We have tried to tell these geese mothers that they are wasting their time. One or two seemed to take notice but most of them sat far longer than their statutory incubation period before wandering off in search of better grazing and poo hills. I can imagine the conversation as the hen caught up with the gander,
"Oy jaffa, three bleedin weeks I have been sitting on those eggs. Nothing, not even a tap. And what have you been doing may I ask?"
"errr... poo'in and chasing motorbikes"...